The cost of underestimating myself.

Okay, friends. One thing that I promised myself when writing this blog, was to be honest and to be authentically me. With all the bumps and bruises that I have incurred over the years, my hope that someone out there will read this and be inspired or feel some type of connection.

For years, after I opened my ballroom studio, I hid in the shadows. I was so afraid of putting my business out there on main street for everyone to see. I had so many limiting beliefs that it was actually holding myself back.

My first limiting belief was whole heartedly believing that I was a bit weird to be teaching ballroom dancing. Looking back, this may have stemmed from the time I spent at the franschised studio and the feedback I received from the owner. I was told that my personality was too much and felt that students couldn’t connect with me. So I held my personality in check, a lot. I became a people pleaser, because I was so afraid that if I didn't say yes, I would be failing in some manner. I was freaking miserable, friends. Miserable. It caused so many issues both on the dance floor and off. I was constantly fighting with my husband, dreading to go the studio, and trying my best to find ways to fill the empty hours on my schedule. But, after opening my studio, I realized, that it was my personality that scared people, in fact.. It’s one of the reasons why my students love to dance with me.

My second limiting belief: I wasn’t good enough to teach. Yeah, there are alot..I mean ALOT of amazing dancers out there, and I was intimated by them. I didn’t start ballroom dancing until I was 22, so I felt very behind and lacking in my knowledge. This belief made me think there was only one solution: pursue the knowledge. I found coaches, hit a brick wall, found another coach, hit a brick wall and kept going until I found one that actually could answer all my hard hitting questions while building my confidence in myself. I have top tier coaches telling me that the ballroom world need teachers like me, and to keep going, that I am right where I belong.

My third limiting belief: I can’t do this. Period. End of story. I can’t even begin to tell you how many times this negative mind monkey keep parading through my head. Owning a business, let a lone a ballroom studio in a rural area is a lot of hard work! In the beginning, I questioned every choice, every decision trying to make sure I was doing everything right. I was so busy trying to be this model of perfection in my head, that it was hurting me, and the studio. I was struggling, ugly crying every month when I couldn’t pay the bills. I wanted to quit so many times. But then, I would look at job sites, and get mad, and kept pushing. That tenacity, has lead DanceAbel to be in business since 2011, and surviving covid.

But these limiting beliefs cost me so much. Time. Income. Relationships. Not being a peace with myself. Sleepless nights. Failure upon failure.

I realize that we have to go through tons of failures to be successful, but sometimes, those failures can hurt and sting so much, that you just don’t know if you can make it through. Don’t underestimate yourself. You can do all the hard things. You can figure it out. You can be tenacious. You can be everything you dreamed of being. I know you can, because I did it. It wasn’t easy or pretty, but I did it. I believe in you.